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by not-here-leave-a-message
Summary: What a boring title. What a terrible summary. What a disappointing day. What a horrible way to end the perfect day. Better just go home, then. Jemma.


_Hello Hand aufs Herz fandom! My I'm getting around my fandoms... Anyway, this was actually a request from a friend, for a Jemma fic, and since she makes amazing gifs, I was obliged. That and all of the feelings from Jemma. This was my second one, which I personally liked a bit better than my first, but nonetheless, I hope you enjoy it!_

**I don't own Hand aufs Herz.** Let's be real I don't even really understand half of Hand aufs Herz, but it was amazing and beautiful so I wrote a fic. Or two. So please don't sue! Yay disclaimers!

_Also, I find it pertinent to inform you, reader, that I've only read recaps of this show: I'm watching it, yes, but in German. I haven't gotten to English subtitles, so if you notice any mistakes, let me know so I can fix them, thanks! :D And for any of you bilinguals/German speakers, the dialogue is a mix of what I know of German, which is very little, and Google searches, so, again, any corrections are welcome. :)_

_Viel Spass!_

* * *

It was supposed to be a good day.

It had started that way! She'd woken up in their empty loft with a huge smile on her face. She'd stretched with a huge smile on her face, reveling in the idea that this would be last morning she could so leisurely take up the entire bed. She'd smiled all through getting out of bed, smiled to the kitchen. Smiled all through breakfast, even when she was chewing, grinning madly because today was the day.

She was coming back.

Finally! Three months had never felt longer. Lonelier.

And now she was going to have to wait a few more days.

The thought alone made her drag her feet, walking slower than she had been all day, staring at the ground, key to their (still) empty flat in hand.

It had been a good day.

After breakfast, she smiled in the shower. After her shower, she grabbed a book and smiled at it and sat down and didn't read a damned word. Just kept smiling. Looking at the clock. Smiling if another minute had passed. And would look back down.

She did it for what felt like days, but was a little over an hour. In her excitement, she hadn't been able to fall asleep the night before, and when she finally did, that quickened heartbeat awoke her with the rise of the sun, and she didn't mind it one bit. But that still gave her tons of time to kill. Tons. Because she'd used so much of it the night before to clean and decorate the flat, she couldn't do that: everything was perfect already. She tried though, going around and straightening candles that weren't crooked, fixing pictures that weren't skewed, adjusting streamers that hadn't budget in their loneliness out in the kitchen. She did laps around the loft, a pretty decent size. It was nice, a modern building in Köln. They had a place on the top floor, and most of it was open. Any walls they really had, besides the actual boundaries of the loft, were glass. Everything was slim and weird and their refrigerator was chrome. Emma usually made sure it was much messier, because she personally didn't like the space being so big. But Jenny loved it, and with some colorful paintings, a baby grand piano, and a touch of mess to make it homey, Emma decided she loved it too.

It had its perks, like the sun coming in the morning, streaming through the giant window. An unobstructed view of Jenny dancing in the living room if it was Emma's turn to cook them dinner. Space enough to practice salsa dancing, and then some. Plenty of room to host their friends for the big football game, Jenny screaming at the TV almost as much as the guys, beer in hand.

It was a little sterile for Emma's taste, but all she needed was to add her own touch, and it was okay. It was especially amazing that morning, because she looked around and could see all of Jenny's little things here and there, especially that baby grand piano, and it was like the loft was singing as much as Emma's heart for the brunette's return.

Now it was empty, and Emma knew it was empty, and she was trying to put off going in and seeing the sad decorations waiting for her, lonely and limp, candles cold and unlit. Beautifully made bed getting to see no action other than Emma collapsing into it and wondering if she would actually survive another three days without Jenny.

Curse the English weather. Curse the Americans for having such a huge storm that traveled over the damned Jetstream (which should also be cursed) right over England's shores and grounded all air traffic for three days, a mix of snow and rain and sleet and probably actual cats and dogs, from the sound of it.

The phone call set the day on a downward spiral; though like the day, it hadn't started that way.

There she'd been earlier that morning, fine.

Smiling.

And then the phone rang, and she'd lunged. She really had, all of her bottled energy and excitement bursting forth. Could that be her?! Was she home early?! Was she at the airport already?

She didn't even care that her lunge meant she was laying stomach-down on the floor, she reached up, grabbed the phone, and answered it without bothering to check the ID.

"Ja, hallo, Jenny?!" she got out, all in one, excited, breathless sentence.

"Äh, nein…" the other, decided very masculine voice, stated. "Timo…"

"Oh…es tut mir leid," she felt herself blushing as she pushed herself off of the white carpet (Jenny's idea. Already they'd had to buy new furniture on several occasions to cover spots from spilled wine).

He asked her about the weather in England, and if she'd heard anything about what was going on with the flights, which she didn't really have time for, her impatience rising as he presumably sat on the other end, just bubbling away and spouting nonsense about storms and flights and he really needed to get Luzi something for their anniversary but he wasn't sure what.

She wasn't 100% sure how, but though she protested that she couldn't go with him, she had to make sure she was (a couple hours) early for getting Jenny, just in case her flight arrived early. When he complained that she still had plenty of time for a quick jewelry run with him, she thought of other things. She needed to Skype Hotte (no she didn't, she'd done that two nights ago and ranted and raved about how excited she was to finally get to hold Jenny again. It had been funny the first time she'd told, properly told, him they were dating…he'd literally fallen out of his chair, though more out of excitement than surprise). She had to clean the apartment. She needed to cook Jenny's favorite meal (as if that actually needed to be cooked). She didn't even know what Luzi would like. She trusted Timo's judgment. He still had plenty of time, their anniversary wasn't for a month, wasn't it?

It took a lot of persuading, but somehow, she got the unusually persistent man to give up with an exasperated sigh.

She hung up, and though was vaguely disgruntled from how he was unintentionally trying to pull her away from her pre-Jenny bliss, she bounced back pretty quick, up and humming to herself. She'd started pacing, gone back to smiling. Like an idiot. Uncontrollably.

She sang, a lot. Some of their old ST-AG tunes. Just belted them out and danced a little bit. She hadn't been to a recording studio for a while, to back-up any big up and coming artists or to help out with stage productions or anything, and though she tried to get on as many projects as possible with the company she worked for, which let her do mostly freelance things, seeing as it had once been Jenny's company anyway (quite the business woman she'd turned out to be!) Half of the projects fell through, and even when she was able to successfully distract herself, she personally felt she wasn't performing as well. She didn't have her feedback waiting for her at home. All criticisms felt silly, all ideas felt hollow because she had no one but her glass walls to bounce them off of.

She never would have thought she'd be the lonely, clingy lover, but well…she couldn't say it was a surprise, with the lover she had.

They weren't perfect, but most of the drama had stopped with graduation. Which had been years ago.

A few miscommunications still persisted, but that was to be expected, they were human, after all.

She'd stopped pacing and sat herself on the couch, though still restless, her feet tapping as she looked around, impatiently, but still happy, heart positively dancing in her chest. That happened a lot with Jenny. Those black-outs she had that made her fail the test at school…those stuck. It was just a thing, but Emma realized, she loved them. Because they reminded her of that fresh feeling of being in love with, having a schoolgirl crush on, that woman sitting across the table from her reading her infuriating newspaper, like she did every night, without fail. Not even sex could pull her away from those damned things, it was merely a distraction until they were both spent: then she'd plod along, her bare feet slapping the floor all the way back to the table so she could read her paper.

Emma didn't understand the fascination, but she accepted it.

And damn it if she hadn't missed it, the ruffle of newspapers noticeably absent for the last three months. She had been relieved about it for all of two hours.

It wouldn't have been so bad, being away from Jenny for such a time, but they rarely got to talk. That was the worst part: between technology and everything, she would have thought communicating wouldn't have been a problem. Half the time Jenny was out entertaining clients until the strangest hours, and when Emma let herself panic, which was often, she came up with all sorts of scenarios that she would never dare tell Jenny about. Cheating (though after the Sophie debacle, she realized that was just a stupid, stubborn, though wholly unfounded, fear), dying (also unfounded, they would have to call her for that, but that didn't stop her from having a heart attack every time the thought came up), back on drugs (terrible, but the most plausible, even as Emma reminded herself over and over, that Jenny would never do that. And then she would try and make herself feel better by wondering how hard Jenny would throttle her if she learned that was still a fear Emma had. Of course, they would work through it together, but…) and then her mind would just take off, until she'd so thoroughly spooked herself that she would call and let the phone ring until a very tired Jenny picked up, her voice hoarse with wanting to sleep. "Was?"

All she needed was the "was". "Ich leibe dich"

"Emma, es ist drei Uhr morgen…" she would always pause. "Ich leibe dich auch. Kannst du jetzt schlafen?"

"Ja,"

And that would be the end of it, until Emma would work herself into a worry again. Sure, Jenny called…a lot actually, but somehow, she always missed it, but would spend ages listening to the sweet messages.

Just thinking about it had made her smile wider, bigger.

Emma the hopeless romantic, who hadn't even bothered to help Timo romance his own girlfriend.

Oh well!

When the phone rang again, she had the common sense not to lunge for it, but only at the last second, her muscles already coiled and ready.

"Ja, das ist Emma," she's answered, holding her breath for her girlfriend's warm voice.

"Und das is Luzi," who needed help finding Timo a gift. Even though they weren't having their anniversary for a least another month…she was pretty sure…maybe.

She pulled out all the stops for Luzi, too, every excuse she'd used with Timo, even going so far as to say she was so excited for Jenny that she'd already left.

"Ach, wirklich?" Luzi asked, sounding amused before a loud banging started at Emma's door.

"Ja, wirklich," Emma answered, getting up and heading over to the door and pulling it open.

"Lügnerin," said a smiling Luzi, and Emma's mouth fell in astonishment.

And just like that, she'd been dragged out of the loft several hours earlier than originally planned, to go shopping for Timo, even though she had even less of an idea as to what Timo would actually want than what Luzi would have wanted from Timo.

But Luzi was persistent, pulling her down the street, looking at every, literally every, shop, Emma dragging her feet, reluctant to leave the confinements of doing nothing in her and Jenny's space, now several minutes' walk behind them.

It wasn't really a damper on her day, per se, and it wasn't those two phone calls that put her on the path to absolute miserable.

It was the call that came right outside of, of all places, a jewelry store, Luzi pressing against the glass and staring in, muttering about how she wondered if she could buy one for herself, or if it would be tacky to tell Timo to get her something from the shop. Was that allowed? She didn't know.

Neither did Emma, if Jenny wanted something, she asked for it, protocol be damned, and Emma had sort of developed the same habit, but never with the zeal and confidence Jenny always seemed to have.

Her phone rang, in her pocket, and she quickly picked it up.

"Hallo?"

"Emma!" magic erupted in her ear, and for a moment she forgot entirely where she was, who she was with, and what was going on, a huge grin plastering itself to her face.

"Jenny!"

It was like she was back in their flat again, all smiles, ear to ear, listening to her girlfriend's voice.

Until she heard what her girlfriend's voice was saying, sounding more and more subdued the more it talked. About how horrible the weather was. About how transportation had all but stopped. How her plane had been delayed. But hopefully, with a little luck, she would only be two hours late, and she would call Emma immediately if anything changed, but it didn't look like it would. And if it did, she would tear apart anyone who got in her way to getting back to Emma, which made Emma smile gratefully.

She hung up and turned to Luzi, who had stopped window shopping and was looking at her intently.

"Also?" she inquired, and Emma sighed.

It was sad, yes, but she could definitely handle a few extra hours. If anything, it allowed her to unwind slightly and actually enjoy her time with Luzi, instead of checking her watch constantly. Though she checked her phone every few minutes as they walked, thinking it was vibrating in her jeans when it wasn't, but secretly hoping it was, and that it was Jenny calling to say they were taking off, and she'd be home sooner than expected.

But it never happened. Every time she pulled her phone out, the blank screen greeted her. And though she was able to, for a little while, lose herself in shopping with Luzi, for Luzi (they'd given up on Timo at some point that Emma hadn't really been bothered to notice). It wasn't long until she would walk into a shop and just sit down while Luzi roamed around, which got old very fast.

"Luzi…" she started, when they were on what must have been their fiftieth shop.

Luzi hadn't even let her finish saying how she was going to head home and get ready (change her clothes several times in anticipation of tearing them off as soon as they were home) before whining about how she needed to find something for Timo, and please, Emma?!

"Nein," Emma rolled her eyes and turned, ready to leave, but Luzi jumped in front of her.

"Bitte, Emma!" she said, helplessly, her eyes wide with what looked to be legitimate fear.

Emma narrowed her eyes, but relented, carrying on behind Luzi for what felt like forever, shops blurring together. Luzi's phone kept going off and reminding Emma to check hers, but nothing happened with it. And finally, just when she thought they were done shopping (and still with enough time to spare for Emma to run home and fret about what to wear), they ran into Ben, out looking for god knew what. He invited them for coffee, his treat, and though Emma declined, the excuses already lining up in her head, Luzi wrapped her arm around Emma's shoulder and answered for her, a resounding "Ja, sehr gut!"

And it was decided, and Emma spent the entire time tapping her foot nervously and checking her watch almost every 20 seconds, watching the time tick by and wondering when it would no longer be considered rude to remind them that she needed to be at the airport because her girlfriend, who she hadn't seen in almost three months, was coming home and she really, really, needed to be there to pick her up.

But Ben's life had (apparently) been interesting since they'd last seen him (the week before), because he had a lot to talk about, and even made the waiter hang around, he asked so many questions about the menu. Emma all but slammed her head on the table when Luzi started doing the same thing.

By the time they had left, Emma had every detail of the damned menu and no time to change her clothes, let alone fret over them, and though that slightly dampened her mood, it rebounded with each step she took to the train station, and with every turn of the trains wheels, with every twist of the tracks, her heart started kicking faster and faster and her nerves started fraying over and over and her adrenaline started to pump all over her, making her even more restless and excited. The train car was too small and cramped and she couldn't sit down so she stood up and switched her weight from foot to foot and grabbed onto one of the rails for dear life.

Her door came into sight and she let out a long sigh. So much anticipation…

Finding the gate had been easy enough. She remembered the gate the instant Jenny had told her over the phone, and though there was a chance it would change…no, Jenny would have mentioned that.

And that was all it took to dash her doubts and push her feet onward to the gate, which was relatively empty.

Heart jumping slightly from a sudden fear that she had missed the arrival, she checked her watch to find…that she had plenty of time.

So she'd stood, and smiled stupidly, like she had been doing all morning. She all but forgot about being stuck with Luzi and Ben and the weather that had caused this delay in the first place, the only thing she could do was grin.

And then her phone rang.

The very, very, distraught voice on the other end started immediately with "Es tut mir leid," and Emma's heart all but stopped.

Jenny's sad, subtly angry, and ultimately heart-wrenching voice informed her of how her flight had been cancelled. She'd tried calling earlier but the weather really was that severe that her call hadn't gone through. She was stuck in London for another three days, and though she'd tried to get on some of the trains, it hadn't worked out at all. Though Emma knew she would have preferred to take a train: it had taken years for Jenny to even look at a jet after her parents passed. But it was the cheapest option, and the fastest, the business trip being abrupt, but ultimately, unavoidable if Jenny was to expand her new business model.

They'd gotten her so drunk the night before she left that she was still drunk for take-off, which was the only way she was able to relax. She'd called after she arrived with a hangover and no cure, and no Emma to make it better.

The voice in her ear, so familiar and yet stuck so far away continued to update her on what was going on at the airport, how they were bringing out cots for people who were stuck, and at one point, Jenny's voice broke, and with it, Emma's heart. She was so sorry, and she missed Emma, she had been so looking forward to getting home. Kissing her, hugging her, loving her. Finally being back in their own bed…

Her voice even got a little sultry, but, stunned, the world came crashing back into Emma's perception, and she jumped and blushed when she realized the sly proposition (and her body's reaction to it) right in the middle of an airport terminal.

"Es tut mir leid, Emma," she repeated quietly, and they hung up, Emma promising she'd call Luzi if she was feeling really down, or if she needed a distraction, and that she'd be waiting when Jenny's new flight got in.

With that, she'd turned, walked out, and left, her smile now gone, replaced with a frown, bitter and sad, her heart positively _aching_.

She did call Luzi, on the way home, when she had gotten off of the train and started walking to her flat. To her credit, Luzi immediately offered her place to Emma, and offered to pay for drinks if Emma wanted to go out, to get her mind off of it, and sleep over, so she didn't have to return to her empty, already-prepared-for-Jenny's-arrival, flat. She'd seriously contemplated it, but sighed and said no, she'd be alright, and hung up.

Luzi met her outside of her building anyway, and escorted her away, immediately walking in the opposite direction.

Emma had half a mind to protest but decided not to. One drink wouldn't hurt, and she'd promised Jenny if she felt lonely, she'd call Luzi, and there they were: Luzi being a good friend, Emma sulking, as was necessary.

One drink turned into two, which turned into Luzi calling Timo, and Timo bringing Ben, and all of them gathered around a tiny table in the biergarten, chatting and talking and watching Timo and Luzi try to not be a couple. It was all well and good, but Emma got sick of it fast, ready to leave shortly after the "party" had arrived. She especially was ready to leave when Caro walked in, and, to her surprise, was beckoned over by Luzi.

Perhaps even more surprising was that no one, not even Luzi, tried to stop her when she announced she was leaving. Luzi checked the time on her phone and nodded, smiling sympathetically at her. The others nodded, and with that, she left, walked home, got herself into the building, got in the elevator. Got to the top floor, walked down the hall. Slowly, surely.

And found herself standing at the door, staring at it, knowing the gloom and emptiness that would be behind it. She played a sort of game with it, just staring. Wondering who would blink first.

Such a completely, totally opposite feeling to what she had felt when she had awoken just that morning.

With a resigned sigh, she slipped the key in the lock, listened to it click and opened the door. She stepped in and nudged it with her foot, started watching it slowly shut, before her mouth fell open in complete astonishment.

The entire loft was alight. Beautiful little flames twinkled at the end of her white candlesticks, but among them were new red ones, just as tall and just as brilliant, the little flames dancing, reflecting off their chrome refrigerator, the glass walls, the shiny black surface of the baby grand, the marble counters…everywhere. The streamers had been taken down, all of the furniture in the living room moved to the sides. And through the gentle glow, around one of the few obscured corners in their entire loft, came the figure of an absolute, ethereal being, silk robe hanging limp and open to reveal lingerie that was…new, definitely new!

"Überraschung," Jenny Hartmann's voice said softly, a half-smile forming on the person who was supposed to be in London's face.

"Aber…" Emma's mouth fell open again, and Jenny's face split into a huge grin, her eyes positively alight in the sparks of candlelight.

"Überrascht?" Jenny asked, coming forward and cupping Emma's still shocked face.

"Äh, klar!" she tried to grapple with her words, still unsure if the Jenny Hartmann before her wasn't just her mind on over-drive. Had she gone insane? She had to have.

As though reading her mind, glowing Jenny before her laughed quietly, a beautiful sound that set off a reaction all the way down Emma's body.

"Ich leibe dich," she murmured, before leaning in and kissing her.

**...**

Emma still wasn't sure she wasn't dreaming. Or crazy. It all felt pretty damn real though, her satisfied body humming, the vibes mutually rolling off of the girl next to her in waves. Her chest rose and fell with that deep sleep that rushed travel (and excellent sex) brought.

She had come home a day and a half ago, once she'd heard of this big storm. She didn't want to chance it. She convinced everyone to advance her tickets, to as soon as possible. They offered her train ones, knowing her problem with flying, but she turned them down, because trains "weren't fast enough". She'd stayed at Luzi's. She swore the woman to secrecy, and enlisted Timo and Ben, who probably told Caro, about her plan. How she was going to surprise Emma, and she needed them to get her out of the flat and distract her for the entire day. Because she would want to go home, but they couldn't let that happen. She would want to get there and change, or make sure everything was perfect, and they couldn't let Emma do that, because Jenny needed time to make everything perfect. To push the furniture and place the candles and light them all and put rose pedals on their sheets which were thoroughly neglected because they never even made it to their bedroom, the baby grand's shiny surface and that damned white faux-fur rug claiming them.

When Jenny had called Emma at the airport, from their own flat! and apologized, over and over to Emma, she had hung up and immediately called Luzi: she wasn't ready! So if Emma didn't call, well, she was going to go out whether she liked it or not!

And then they texted, back and forth, back and forth, as they had been all day, keeping tabs on Emma always, until, minutes before Emma decided she would go home, Luzi received the text stating all was good. She was ready.

Looking at that head of dark hair, tucked right under Emma's chin, and watching that beautiful chest rise and fall, feeling the tingles in her arm as it fell asleep, a smile crept its way across Emma's face. There was no way she could be dreaming, this was too beautiful. All of the candles had been extinguished long ago, and the only light came from the moon, filtering through their giant window in their living room and bathing everything in a dim blue.

But that didn't really matter, either. Neither did the slight pain in her back from the hardness of the floor. The only thing that matter was the woman sleeping right next to her, beautiful and amazing and devious and back where she belonged. Home.

Emma ducked her head, planting her nose squarely in Jenny's mussed hair and inhaled her shampoo, slightly foreign, the London hotel shampoo. Still, she liked it, and she gently kissed her lover's head.

"Ich leibe dich," she whispered.

"Ich weiβ," was the quiet, almost silent answer, but it never the less made her heart swell, and she buried her face into the crook of Jenny's neck and tightening her arms around the woman who was finally, finally back.

Yep…definitely real.

* * *

_And, there you go! I do hope you enjoyed it, drop me a line if you did, reviews are my crack, gifs are my heroin and you don't even want to know what my meth is. _

_Thanks for reading!_


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